Defining sexual grooming

Sexual grooming of a child, within the legal framework of South Africa, involves the use of articles, pornography, publications, or films with the intention of facilitating a sexual act with or by a child. It also encompasses efforts to encourage, persuade, or reduce a child’s resistance or unwillingness, ultimately leading to their involvement in a sexual act.

Purpose of sexual grooming

Grooming is a calculated process aimed at gaining power over a child. Once this power is established, it is used to maintain secrecy, ensuring that the child does not disclose the abuse. Grooming can take place over days, weeks, or even years, allowing the perpetrator to build trust with the child and often their family. This trust creates opportunities for repeated abuse to occur unnoticed.

Understanding sexual grooming

One way in which perpetrators groom their victims is by manipulating the environment. Institutional grooming occurs when the perpetrator integrates themselves into an institution or community, such as a school or church, where they can gain access to children. By forming personal and professional relationships of loyalty and trust, they convince those responsible for child protection that they are respectable and trustworthy. Familial grooming takes place when an extra-familial offender befriends a child’s parent or primary caretaker. This allows them to secure trust and cooperation, making it easier to access the child. It also creates an atmosphere of normality, reducing the likelihood of suspicion or discovery.

Another aspect of grooming involves targeting the child directly. Personal grooming involves the perpetrator building a trusting relationship by engaging in the child’s hobbies, showing interest in their likes and dislikes, and positioning themselves as a supportive confidant. By fulfilling the child’s emotional needs, they establish a special bond, making the child more vulnerable to abuse. Sexual grooming, on the other hand, is aimed at desensitising the child and breaking down inhibitions while also arousing their sexual curiosity. Once the first sexual encounter takes place, the grooming process continues to ensure the child’s silence and maintain the abusive relationship.

Perpetrators use a variety of tactics to prevent children from disclosing the abuse. They often resort to threats to instil fear and enforce silence. They also manipulate the child into believing they are responsible for the abuse, a pattern observed in studies by Leberg (1997), van Dam (2001), and Warner (2000). By shifting the blame onto the child, perpetrators create overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame, making it even more difficult for the child to come forward.

Know the signs, protect our children

The grooming process is deliberate and insidious, designed to break down barriers and enable ongoing abuse while ensuring secrecy. While paranoia is unnecessary, it is essential to be informed and aware so that we can recognise signs of grooming and take proactive steps to protect children.

Bibliography

• Bennett, Natalie & William O’ Donohue. 2014. “The Construct of Grooming in Child Sexual Abuse: Conceptual and Measurement Issues,” Journal of Sexual Abuse 23:8: 957-58.
• Craven, S., Brown, S. & Gilchrist, E. 2006. Sexual grooming of children: Review of literature and theoretical considerations. Journal of Sexual Aggression
• McAlinden, A. 2006. 'Setting 'Em Up': Personal, Familial and Institutional Grooming in the Sexual Abuse of Children. Social & Legal Studies 15(3):339-362DOI:10.1177/0964663906066613